Case 3 - Now, the time to LIVE!

 

An elderly figure walked in. I had been expecting him to come as he had taken an appointment a few days ago. These days the greys are no indication of the age however the fine creases near his eyes and lips gave away his age. He was more than 60 years old. As he brought out the series of questions before me, I happened to ask him about his children for whom I presumed he had been asking these questions.

Upon probing, I figured he had two children, a son and a daughter, both married. He started talking about his children and how much he loved them. I could see he was a concerned father and obviously anxious about his children. As I tried to probe further, he mentioned something strange. He said both his kids were ‘happily’ married.

As realization struck, there was a knock on the door and a woman of about the same age as the gentleman, walked in. I was introduced to his wife!

As they sat in front of me, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the couple. After having lived more than half their life together, they were on the threshold of separation. Why, I wondered! They had decided to part ways amicably hence there were no allegations, concocted stories, mudslinging from either side.  

Nevertheless, I was curious to know how a marriage of about 35 years had crumbled. As I got them talking, she revealed that they had been in the marriage for all these years only for the sake of their children. Now that the children were married, they wanted to live the rest of their life in peace.

It was then that he started talking. Theirs was a love marriage. After marriage they could not see eye to eye coz as lovers, they were both oblivious to each other’s flaws. However, now that they were married, he could not stand her dominance in every aspect of life, and she could not accept his care-a-damn attitude. She expected him to follow her dictates however he was not willing to dance to her tunes. Both were extremely head-strong individuals and had climbed high up the corporate ladder.

Once the children were born, they both took good care of them however throughout this period they were both trying to adjust, compromise and tolerate each other for the sake of their children. They led an affluent lifestyle and had provided the children with all the luxuries. Now that both their children were married and settled, they wanted to live a life of their own, for themselves. 

But ...'without' each other! In Peace!

I looked at the couple who were sitting like strangers to each other. Not a single emotion crossed their faces, as they were composed and firm on their decision. There was no point trying to make them reconsider their decision. 

The decision was made years ago, now it was time to implement it since they no longer shared a common responsibility. It was now the time to LIVE! 

Pondering Reflections - No.2

 

“Tu jaa”.....”Tu jaa” … the tone was authorative and firm enough to catch my attention and for me to turn around to check out the source of the dominating voice. A young girl in her late twenties was admonishing a boy about the same age who apparently seemed to be her boyfriend, asking him to go away. Prima facie it looked as though the young couple was having a lovers tiff.

 I happened to overhear a part of the conversation which partly revealed that the boy had not been able to meet her at a fixed time. The boy was apparently trying to cajole the girl who was acting too pricey. From the looks of it, the young lad was apologetic and was trying to explain that he was held up at work but the girl was being adamant and refused to listen to him. The young boy was extremely patient and tried his level best to make her understand however the girl was not willing to let go and remained firm on her stand behaving quite haughtily. 

Finally, he said, "Ye tu theek nahi kar rahi." It was apparent that he did not appreciate her behavior but was giving in to her tantrums out of 'love'. I half expected him to walk away after being treated in this manner but to my dismay he didn't. But the worst was yet to come. 

The girl got up and strode off, knowing very well that the boy is going to follow her. As she snootily walked away, I was appalled to see the boy who had resented her behavior a few minutes ago, running behind her like a puppy wagging his tail. 

It was evident that the girl was in the commanding position in their relationship. She was very well aware that her anger will get the boy spinning around her and so he did. How I wished he didn't !!!

I let my thoughts wander and fast forwarded their life. If they were to get married in a few years,  the girl is bound to continue to twist the boy around her little finger and have him dancing to her tunes. He might do so for some years as he is in the so called 'love' mode.  However, for how long will he be able to tolerate her  tantrums and her dominating behaviour ??? No man with some amount of self respect will tolerate this behaviour. My experience tells me that such tantrums cannot be tolerated for a longer period by a man having some dignity. 

Both would be happy in the relationship only if they truly loved each other. But do they even know what 'real' love is like, I wondered!

The commanding nature of the girl clearly indicates that she never loved the boy however she was basking in his attention and enjoying making him follow her dictates.  Incase the marriage sustains,  it will only be a compromise and an obligation on the part of the young boy who unfortunately believes this to be 'love'. 

Hoping that better sense prevails the young lad before it's too late, I halted my contemplations only to ponder over something else.