Case 1 - He needed to break free !!!

After hearing his side of the story, I calmly wondered if he had something more to say. Something that would make me feel that he still wanted her in his life as the marriage was just about 2 years old. Honestly, at that point of time I was hoping that a reconciliation would work but the look in his eyes said it all. There was a dull sadness in his eyes and as he shared the details of his traumatic life, I could not agree any less that he would be better off without her. 

It was a major mistake on his part and now he had to pay the price for it. It had been the typical love at first sight for them both and they claimed to be madly in love with each other. Anybody else did not feature in his life as his world revolved only around her. The sweet 17-year-olds had been too daft to believe they had found the love of their life. I said to myself, "Obviously, it was mere attraction you fool." However, I kept that to myself as I was all ears to know what made him realize that it was not love in the first place. But one thing was certain... the once upon a time fairy tale romance was up for wraps.

They had been courting for a good 7 years before they decided to tie the knot. Following their marriage, the initial few days was the honeymoon period where they enjoyed their newly married life. But the honeymoon period waned off pretty soon as there was nothing more to discover about each other 'outwardly' as they had supposedly 'known' each other for 7 years. However, they were yet to discover the 'real' person they had married.

The problems started once they started with the daily routine. Throughout their courtship period she had gotten used to his complete attention. He had been prioritizing her over his family, friends, relatives. Back then he would make excuses to meet her and was at her beck and call. He was so as to say 'in love' with her and wanted to spend his entire time with her. However, now that she was living with him and his family members, she wanted him for herself alone. She wanted his complete attention and was not willing to share him with anybody else. He became an obsession for her, and she started throwing tantrums if he would spend time with his family or friends. 

Inorder to avoid the disharmony in the matrimonial home, he gave in and started following her dictates so that she does not get angry and make life miserable for him. He found this to be an easy way out. He stopped meeting his friends and distanced himself from his family and relatives with the belief that she loved him immensely and hence she was not willing to allow him to share his time with anyone else. 

She started imposing restrictions on whom he should meet, whom he should talk, whom he should spend his time with. Initially he agreed, trying to keep her happy as she had claimed to be in love with him and had married him. He was obliged. Well, I tried not to react to that and kept a straight face. Ok... so he felt he was obliged to her for whatever reasons and hence he had borne her dominant nature for those 2 years of married life. 

He then tried to justify his love for her by claiming that she has been a good housewife. She has been taking care of the house besides doing very well in her career as she was climbing the corporate ladder swiftly. She was bringing in the money at par with him and dictated terms enough to have the final word. He was realizing that the girl he had fallen in love with was not the one who was trying to make him dance to her tunes. 

She started to pick up quarrels on petty issues. His mobile phones used to be monitored. The woman did not even have the decency or manners not to check his friends' group messages. His phone would practically be in her hands most of the time. If he had to attend even an official dinner, she would call him every hour to check up on him if he had left for home. Eventually he started attending as a formality but would leave immediately before she called. He was not permitted to meet his friends as she would not like to see him spending time with others besides her. Eventually he had to find excuses to refuse meeting his friends. She had one condition though. He was allowed to meet his friends only if 'she' was invited and where she wasn't invited, she would make it a point to go uninvited if he desired to go. She was playing with him emotionally, but he did not know that these were the signs of an extremely insecure person. She demanded his exclusive attention ... clearly an attention seeker. She was having psychological issues. 

She was a Narcissist!!! 

But these things did not come to light when everything seems hunky dory in college. He had enjoyed and was basking in the attention he was receiving from her. Initially he had believed this to be love, thinking that she did not want to spend a single moment without him. However, this behavior was soon becoming toxic. She was becoming toxic in his life. He felt suffocated with her constant scrutiny and follow ups. She was being over possessive beyond reason. The girl whom he had fallen in love with did not exist anymore coz he had not seen this side of her back then. Although a person changes as per the role they play in different situations, the nature of a person does not change. 

He needed peace in his life. He realized that he cannot continue to live with a person who is so imposing, dominating and self-obsessed. Even if he considered giving their marriage another chance, it was unlikely that a person who is so self-obsessed would change her behavior. She was sick. She needed to get over herself and learn to respect him. If she claimed to love him, she ought to respect his choices, his decision and moreover set him free. She needed to give him space for him to respect and fall in love with her once again. 

However, he was determined to get rid of the woman he once claimed to be deeply in love with and be set free.  

He could not live with such a woman and ruin the rest of his life. 

He had made up his mind. 

He needed to get his space.

He needed to break free!!!