"You are 16 going on 17."

"You are sixteen going on seventeen....Fellows will fall in line

Eager young lads and rogues and cads ....Will offer you food and wine."

Well I'm not gender biased. This applies for our young lads as well. However its a typical situation faced by all of us right? Although earlier girls would not take the boys out for food and wine.... but they would cook for their beau. Yeah, its a beautiful phase of life which ought to be taken only as a learning experience. College life is so much fun. We are newly out of school exposed to this whole new world which we presume has given us the freedom to do anything and everything. Entering the world of College, we all feel there are no restrictions whatsoever. We can do whatever we want without our parents knowing.

The first day of college has always been full of excitement and thrill for all of us. We don't know who our new friends are going to be but the most handsome / beautiful face usually catches our eye and we all have secret desires to have that good looking hunk / beauty as our paramour. But that is all that we see.... Good looks that catches our eye. Nothing wrong though as we are all naive, inexperienced at that age and we all have had our crushes.

The heart skips a beat when he/ she enters the classroom. We try to befriend that someone special by hook or crook and finally manage to utter the first "hello" and gradually enter into their life. The world suddenly seems to revolve around that one special person. At that time everything about the person seems just 'perfect' but is it really?  

Love is in the Air. I too have a girl friend / boy friend by my side soon becomes a status symbol. In no time they realize that their eye candy already has an eye for other sugar candies as well. It is a heart wrenching realization that the handsome hunks / beauties have clearly kept their options open and you are just one of them. Nothing serious though and the castles they have built in the air go ....  poooffff !!! 

Following the heart break, it feels as though the world has come to an end. There is no future life without that someone special whom they believed to be the love of their life. Then comes depression, addiction to vices like smoking, drinking, drugs to name a few and eventually neglect towards studies and their future career. What they fail to see is this is not the end of the world but just the beginning of a beautiful life ahead. They shut doors from their parents and loved ones and get enveloped in self pity and depression.

However, what they fail to understand is its not that nobody cannot see anything, nobody cannot understand anything, least of all our parents. What they forget is that their parents too have gone through the same situation. They too had been sixteen at some point of time and have done the same things that they are doing by not sharing their life with the ones who love them the most.

We feel that our parents don't understand however the same was experienced by our parents and their parents too. They too had assumed that their parents will not understand them. This has been going on for decades and there are some things which cannot be taken as a precedent. Some things need to change and we need to bring about this change if we want a stable, contended and happy life ahead. And the change that needs to be brought about is making our parents our BFF's (Best Friend Forever) and sharing our lives with them as nobody can care and love you more than your parents. They are the first ones to help you overcome your problems and also help you find a solution to tackle any situation.

Although I wonder why the secrecy? I would tell my mother everything I would do in college. "Aai... we bunked a lecture today.", "Aai, we were sitting on the open gutter outside our college. Don't worry Aai its a clean dry gutter." Aai, today we went to Shiv Sagar." "Today after college we went to so and so's place for our dance practice"... all fun things were shared and my friends too had an open access to our home where my mother would chat with my friends. That was the fun of sharing with my mother. Dad used to be at work and mom was always around. So atleast one parent was aware of whats happening in my life. All my boyfriends (let me clarify here ... friends who were boys) were friends with my mom. However she could easily gather who was giving me special attention. But there was nothing to share with her as it did not develop into anything special. But if it did... I would have loved to share it with my mom. 

Well there are some who are pretty sure that the ideal man or their lady love is right in front of them in college itself. It is Luvvvv at first sight for them and the naive little hearts who don't even understand what 'real love' is like, they fool themselves into believing that what they have experienced is 'Love'.  Little do they understand that physical attraction is not Love. College Love is 'puppy' love. Their 'love' bubble bursts soon after they get married and realize that the person they have got married to is extremely diffilcult to live with. Then follows the ugly seperation scene for some and the rest continue to adjust and live a miserable life pretending to the world that their marriage is fairy tale story. They start believing that it is their responsibility to stay commited in the marriage as the partner had once upon a time stayed committed in the relationship and married them. There is no turning point for them after a few years down the line as by then they have the children's future to consider. 

Well.... it is a gamble for sure. However what we need to understand is that college is not the time to take this gamble of life. Life is a roller coaster ride with a lot of ups and downs. It is the person who stands by you through all your struggles, not just your highs but also your lows, that is the person for you. A clingy partner is fun only during college days but later in life you will crave for personal space as you will find yourself trapped in your marriage with no breathing space for yourself. It takes years to understand what real love is all about. It is the journey of Life which shows who is a perfect partner for you and that is your true love coz Love can never happen at first sight.

As a college teen you need to focus on education and work and priortize life towards building a career without which there is no sound future. A secure, well balanced, responsible, culturally and morally sound partner belonging to a secure family background is always 'The Chosen One'. To be so ... one needs to belong to the family having strong family values, have good educational qualification, a bright career and live a principled life. So stay focussed folks... and remember to share this with your new BFF's.... Your parents !!!