Are you a Sutton-Richard ?

 

“I Love You Richard but… I don’t want to have children.” This is what Sutton said to Richard. For those who have not followed this series on Netflix, Sutton Brady and Richard Hunter are characters from the popular series ‘The Bold Type’ which is about a Fashion Magazine 'Scarlet' in New York which chronicles the professional and personal lives of three women. Well to brief you a bit, Sutton Brady is a 26 year old Fashion Assistant who is promoted to a Fashion Stylist and marries 41 year old Richard Hunter who is an in-house attorney.

It is a fabulous series with characters we can all relate to and something in that series made me come up with this write up. These characters are so real that we too have come across such people in our lives who need to get a reality check on what they want out of their lives before it is too late.

The couple has been in a sizzling affair at work and the high flying Richard proposes marriage to a small town Sutton. Everything is hunkydory and Sutton is enjoying being officially engaged to Richard and eventually they decide to get married. Sutton is a career oriented girl and passionate about her job as a Fashion Assistant. Sutton claims to be in love with Richard however is unable to prioritize her life when they are supposed to plan their wedding together. She puts her career first which is gracefully accepted by Richard who is supportive as he is completely in love with Sutton.

Sutton agrees to relocate to San Fransisco with Richard after marriage so that they could start a new life together. However, on the wedding day, Oliver her boss, gifts her with something that she has always longed for…. A promotion as a Fashion Stylist. On the day of the wedding, Sutton breaks the news to Richard that although she is in love with him, she cannot move to San Fransisco and wanted to accept the promotion. Although Richard is upset he supports Sutton’s dreams knowing he will have to make sacrifices and adjustments. Richard makes up his mind and they get married.

Thereafter Sutton conceives following an unplanned pregnancy immediately after marriage. Richard is thrilled that he is going to be the father however Sutton is apprehensive and when the pregnancy ends up in a miscarriage, Sutton is relieved. Sutton buys time saying that she is not ready to have a child as yet. Richard once again supports her and agrees to give her time even though he is distressed knowing that Sutton does not want a baby for some time.

Richard is concerned about his age as there is a major age difference betwen the two but Sutton finds a solution to that and suggests that they freeze the sperms. Richard agrees for that too however does not wish to wait for long and Sutton promises that they will try for a baby after 5 years. However she has no intention of getting pregnant ever. So she finally decides to confess and tells Richard that she loves him very much but following the miscarriage she realized that she does not want to have children. Richard is devastated with this and decides to leave her.

Richard had always been supportive of Sutton when it came to her decisions about her career and her personal choices even if it meant sacrificing his own desires. However Sutton has always prioritized her career and her freedom over Richard. Despite of that she claims to be in Love with Richard. Is this what Love is all about?? Infact I don’t see Sutton being in love with Richard at all. She is in Love with herself, her dreams, her career, her freedom. That is what she wants and that is what she is in love with, not Richard!

Isn’t this something we get to see amongst a lot of people out there? There is a Sutton and a Richard who have different priorities. One is giving while the other is only taking. Love is only used as a clichéd term. It does not mean anything. Sutton’s priority in life was her career however she had made a decision to move with Richard which she should have stood by and supported him instead of letting him go and choosing her career over him. That’s not Love for sure. 

Sutton has always been indecisive. Her choice about not having children ever should have been conveyed to Richard before marriage. However Sutton defends herself by saying that she realized she did not want children only after she had a miscarriage. This was no excuse for shattering dreams of the person who loved her and had always been supportive towards her decisions. She longs her freedom and wants to enjoy life the way it is without children but she conveniently fails to understand her husband who is longing and dreaming to have children. But apparently his dreams and aspirations are not considered before her selfish desires.

We have a lot of people out there like Sutton and Richard who believe that what they have between them is love. They proclaim their love for each other however the marriage is nothing but a farce as they are not willing to compromise, make adjustments or sacrifices. Wanting to do something for the other even if it hurts you is love however one needs to understand that sacrifices, compromises and adjustments are never one-sided. Marriage is dual game to be played in partnership. If one gives the other needs to reciprocate to make it work. This is what love is all about and this is what is needed not to end up like a Sutton-Richard.