The Toast !

Dear Aai Daddy,

We would have been planning a grand celebration this year. To celebrate the beginning of our existence in this world as a family. The day you both united as a couple 50 years ago. 18th May 1973, the day we have been celebrating for the past 47 years. 

The 50th year celebration planning would have begun a year in advance. But since we are not fortunate enough to do that, you and Aai deserve atleast a toast to honour this day. 

Had Aai still been with us here, my toast would have been different but nevertheless here goes....

These 50 years have not been a cakewalk for sure but what touches me most is the way you both made it work. It has not only taken adjustments and compromises on both ends but a lot of understanding,  love and respect towards each other. These virtues are more appreciated as they are not to be seen in the current generation which has resulted in a steep rise of Divorces.

As I reminisce our past,  it has truly been a beautiful journey for us as your children. Ẁe have been fortunate enough to have witnessed a beautiful childhood under your protective and loving care. God could not be present physically to take care of us but we could experience the presence of God through you both. 

Aai... I feel we were fortunate enough to have you as a homemaker and not a working woman. I feel incomplete myself as I'm unable to be with my children the way you had been for us although I'm struggling to strike a balance. 

You have been there for us when we needed you the most. We have been fortunate to have your magic touch to our daily meals. Can still remember the wonderful aroma that used to drift throughout the house when you would be in the kitchen. The Chicken or Mutton which used to be cooked only on Sundays in those days would make us feel hungry instantly. Not to forget the afternoon snacks of Waffles or the tikhat rawa with karandi. Our market visits also used to be fun as I would cling on to your arm whilst we walked through the crowded Malad streets. Every visit we would return with loads of goodies and it used to be an enjoyable visit even if it was to the market. 

Your hands on my forehead were the perfect healers when sick. Although your hands have been replaced by Deepak's and the kids, Aai you are sorely missed. Placing my head on your lap, or being cuddled by you would make me feel secure. You had given me so much of love,  care and security that I am bound to miss every minute of that throughout my life.

I have imbibed a lot from you as obviously every child does from their parents. Every child feels their parent is the best and I am no exception. But I am grateful to God for gifting us with you as our Aai and to the wonderful moments we have shared with you in the little time he gave us to be together. 

Daddy... I'm so proud to say that this soft spoken, hard working, meticulous, patient, practical, devoted, caring, disciplined and the most principled man is our Daddy, who is my pillar of strength. These adjectives are not for glorification or decoration but Daddy you are indeed all of the above.  Yes, I'm your little girl till date and I will hold on to your little finger forever.

I so look upto you for being the way you are Daddy. I wish I could have been so meticulous and disciplined the way you are in every field of life. You have spent your entire life working for us to make life so easy and beautiful for us. Appreciate the way you are so dedicated to your work and are still working when most of the people your age are relaxing and enjoying their retired life. Kudos to you. 

Throughout my childhood, I don't recollect any incident where I had longed for something and I was not given. I did not have to ask anything from you as everything was provided to me even before I could think of asking. This habit has grown on me and continues even now. I don't like to ask anything from anyone and I feel the other person ought to understand my needs just like my Aai Daddy did. Bad habit I suppose. 😊

Although I still get scared to drive in the crazy Mumbai traffic, my memory takes me down to my first driving lesson which you gave me on our Fiat car during my school days. I did not have to walk to school early morning with the heavy school bag as the daily one-way drop to school by car was a luxury those days, school being easily a 20 minute walk from home.

Memories are a plenty. Some to be shared with all and some to be treasured just amongst us.  When I see broken families these days, I thank God for blessing us with parents like you and Aai. The way you both had accepted each others flaws and made the marriage work is something which is not seen in the current generation. I admire you for standing by each other through thick and thin. Daddy, I don't think anybody would be able to take care of their wife the way you have taken care of Aai during her last decade. I truly admire you for that Daddy and have immense respect for you. You are truly the perfect husband and father. 

Thanking you and Aai for the wonderful life that you have provided me and Shrinal would seem clichéd and formal but cannot stop expressing my gratitude towards you and Aai for everything you have done for us and for still continuing to take care of us. May God bless our family forever and keep us away from the evil eye. We would have loved to celebrate your 50th Wedding Anniversary today but unfortunately God had other plans.

All I pray to God is to keep you happy, healthy, contented and may you have a peaceful life ahead. Some people like to express some just leave it unsaid ... some don't think it's important to say it in words and some have their own views about sharing in public. But I'm the expressive kinds and love to express and share my feelings in words which last forever.  Love you Aai Daddy for everything that you have given us in this life. 

I still need her !!!

Age is just a number and our emotions affirm the same. Who says that only a toddler or a teenager needs a mother? Who says I'm old enough now, I don't need a mother to take care of me. Irrespective of the age we all need both our parents as long as we live. Although I admit it is not practical, but losing a parent does makes one so vulnerable that one tends to think of the impossible praying for a miracle to happen. 

I miss being in those arms where I was the most secure. Those arms which comforted me in my lows and showered me with unconditional love and affection in every situation. From holding her hand to clinging onto her arm as I grew older, I would follow her wherever she went. Aai has always been available for Shrinal and me 24x7.

 

She has been my idol ever since childhood, someone whom I used to look up to and adore her for the way she took care of Daddy, me, my lil brother and made our house into a warm and cozy home. She was the perfect home maker and Daddy resonates with me whole heartedly. I have grown in a family where Aai has always been available for us and has been taking care of our every need. So, I had always aspired to being the perfect wife, mother and home maker just like my Aai.

Now, this is by far and large looked down upon. I have experienced people ridiculing me for not having any aspirations in life with respect to my career. Nowadays, the chores which used to be performed by a home-maker mother are replaced by the home staff who takes care of everything that a mother does.

Everything can be bought but not the 'time' a mother can give to her home and family. That cannot be replaced by anyone. It bothers me to see how home makers are looked down upon in this commercial world, as these days one's success is valued only by the status and the commercial value one holds in the society.

Nevertheless, my idol has created a deeper impact in my life than the society at large. My Aai was a super woman for me. A woman who was happy in her little world of her husband and children. Who would spend her free time reading or doing some kind of art work which would keep her occupied throughout the day. I have been living in a fairy tale world build by my Aai till I found how Aai was wronged by people who claimed to care for her. The picture perfect world around me shattered as I was exposed to the bitter truth of the real world around me.

The world collapsed for us when we found out about Aai's illness. Reality glared at us as we saw the faces behind the masks. This is one major complaint I have with Aai. She was too naive to see through people. Would trust easily. As she never spoke ill about anybody, It was an unpleasant discovery as I grew older. I became all the more vary of the people around me.

 We had lost Aai the moment we realized that she was forgetting things. Aai was suffering from Dementia and Parkinson. That tore us apart. My family was devastated. Aai was physically with us but still wasn't. We had lost her the moment she stopped recollecting things and trust me it's is the most painful, heart wrenching feeling when your mother fails to recognise you.

I would avoid crying before her but would always break down in isolation. It tormented me to see her in this condition. Gradually I started reducing my meeting with Aai coz seeing her in this state was killing me every day. I was selfish. I was wrong. I was escaping. 

 I would pray to God to relieve her from her sufferings. Release her from the ones who have caused her pain. Although I was praying this, I knew this time I was not selfish. I needed Aai but she was not there for almost a decade. Having someone only physically with you does not make sense. A person has to be with you emotionally, mentally as well as physically. That's with one's mind, heart and soul.

God listened to me this time. Aai left us on 10th August 2020 to go to a place where she must've got what she deserved. A better place to live. However, I still long for her to hold me close and say, "Don't worry, I'm there. " 

I still need her !!!

Happy Women's Day

Introspection for all the men out there...

We are beautiful, loving, caring, nurturing, enterprising, emphatatic, affectionate, strong, powerful, graceful, enigmatic and not to forget a multitasker adapting to every given situation and justifying every role that we play in life.  Be it a daughter, wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, friend etc..

We are capable of withstanding any and every storm that comes our way. We might cry inconsolably but we spring back on our feet ready to face every situation with full vigour and determination. We love passionately and are capable of showering our loved ones with all the love we could possibly bestow.

Today our inbox is flooded with messages wishing us a Happy Women's Day. Is womanhood really celebrated by everyone sending those messages??? And if yes, in what way???

Is a Woman treated with respect in every walk of life? Do you stand by her and support her in every step she takes? Is she been looked upon anything other than an 'object'? 

Are you treating 'every' woman 'other than' your wife and daughter, right??? Introspect!!!

'RESPECT' is what you need to give throughout your life rather than sending just a message every year on 8th of March.

There is an exception to every rule though. We can certainly celebrate Women's Day coz some men do make us feel special. Cheers to those special men who treat every woman in their life with respect and stand by her through thick and thin. 🙏

Cheers to Womanhood and a Happy Women's Day to all the wonderful women in my life.  🤗😀

Till Death do us part !

What is a husband? The answer to this question was not known to me ‘then’. At the age of 19, marriage to me was like a fairy tale. There would be a Prince Charming who I would fall in love with and eventually he would ask my hand in marriage. Poooffff!!! that was a dream. Although I am a die-hard romantic, there was no one who would fit the bill coz marriage for me has always been for keeps. So eventually I succumbed to my parent’s decision, leaving everything to destiny.

In the process, I was learning to accept things the way they are. Everything does not happen the way you want it to happen and I went on with the flow. That was my first lesson on this journey. Call it respect towards my parents or succumbing or whatever. It taught me that life is not always, ‘have it my way or the highway’. One must learn to give in and move on with a positive attitude.

All I knew was I am getting ‘married’ and believed in the clichéd …‘and they lived Happily ever after’. Little did I know that as kids all of us have been exposed only to the beginning. What comes next is a surprise which nobody can predict. Whatever happens is destined to happen. The roller coaster ride begins and ends alongwith your partner for life or that’s what every couple believes at the time of marriage….’Till death do us part.!’  Sadly, it does not work that way for many these days.

Well…. I was called 'balika vadhu' (child-bride) by our Daddy (read father-in-law). Just about to turn 20, I was too young to understand the meaning of the term ‘marriage’. Well to be honest… I did not even think about or know what marriage meant. And honestly its not just about me, nobody does. I was barely out of college, I guess I get a benefit of doubt there. Over the years I found that couples who are even a decade or more into marriage, fail to understand the ‘true’ meaning of ‘marriage’ and so I still had a long way to go. I was free to explore and learn the ropes of this relationship through the ups and downs together with my life partner.

Having been brought up in a conservative God-loving family, my values of a ‘marriage’ and a ‘husband’ had already been imbibed into me since childhood seeing my parents, uncles aunts having a ‘perfect marriage’ according to me. Well a perfect marriage is not all hunky dory. They all have their share of highs and lows. But what is important is how they managed to sustain that relationship and make things work together as a couple. Having lived in a joint yet independent family, I grew to love and understand ‘relations’. No matter how independent views a woman had and was vocal about them, the men in that generation commanded that respect and a woman without being like the feminist we see these days had no qualms about showering that respect on her ‘man’. I see it as a gesture of Love and Respect both. 

Now we see women wanting desperately to be called ‘equal’ to men or maybe higher. Women take pleasure in being superior to men and expect husbands to perform their tasks as ‘equals’. At the same time the ‘women’ also expect the husband to attend to her since she is a ‘woman’ and uses her weakness as a woman to suit her needs. Although this will not be accepted by majority of the independent women, the double standards cannot be ignored. The existence of a spouse in our life is looked upon by many with mixed feelings. Now it is more of uncertainty, lack of trust and insecurity which is devoid of love and respect.

The answer to my question about what is a husband was answered over the years of marriage. This experience proved that the clichéd ‘Love at first sight’ is nothing but hogwash and literally a fairy tale which is fictional. To live up to the term ‘We are in Love’ one has to undergo several challenges as a couple and in literal sense ‘Till death do us part’. I learnt several lessons throughout my married life and I am still learning, not willing to give up being a student and working on eliminating the minutest mistake in our relationship. 

So being with a man who happens to be the most understanding, sensible, sensitive, caring, level headed, humble, friendly, loving, forgiving person who truly understands and respects relations, I finally understood how an ideal husband should be. These adjectives are not written only for decoration but this man in my life truly deserves not only this but much more.  A friend, companion, philosopher, guide, protector, lover, having all the above mentioned qualities is a ‘Husband’. This is not just the definition of a husband… it is what I have experienced living with such a person. I believe that such a person can be all of this only when he is a good human being else such a character can only be found in fictional stories.

Despite of the fake relationships and broken marriages that are rampant these days, my belief in the institution of marriages still stands strong.  This 'balika vadhu' is no longer a 'balika'  (child) but a woman with decades of life's experiences behind her having being exposed to a number of people and their relationships. I have discovered the key ingredients to any healthy relationship is love, compassion, understanding and respect. The rest automatically follows. Two strangers not related by blood choose to live together until ‘death do us part’. It is such a pious relation if one believes that relationships are forever. Over the years I have realized that although getting married to your best friend is happiness, but finding your best friend in your husband is a Blessing for Life!

The Bicycle Messenger !

‘The Bicycle messenger’ ! One might think of it as the latest app to follow the bandwagon of messenger services like Facebook messenger, Telegram, Signal etc. However it isn’t folks. It is one of the oldest messenger service used by our generation and the generations before ours. In the early 1990’s this messenger service was about to reach a point of extinction however it has still managed to survive as it continues to serve in some specific areas and the remote parts of the country.

The Bicycle Messenger aka ‘THE POSTMAN’ reigned for decades and he was the most sought after being the most popular means of communication. I would wait for him to come and deliver my much awaited mails from my near and dear ones. Letters, greetings from friends and family were sent via the post which were diligently delivered by the Postman. There used to be a fixed time when he would be seen walking down my street and I would eagerly wait for him to come up our building and hand over our mails. Seeing him leave the building without ringing our doorbell would leave me disheartened. However even one mail bearing my name would give me immense joy. It signified one very important thing and that would bring an instant smile on my face. Someone had remembered me, someone had thought of me and cared enough about me to take time out to write to me. That someone had taken efforts not only to write but to find a postage stamp, an envelop and drop that letter or card in the postbox down their street. Those were the simple moments of joy. We derived pleasure and happiness out of the smallest but significant things.

The end of the 20^th century saw the emergence of new means of communication using Technology. Wow… I was happy to see that technology had managed to close the distance between people and we could communicate with our near and dear ones whenever we want and receive the reply instantly. That was the birth of Instant messenger. I was thrilled to use Yahooo messenger which was launched sometime in 1998 and it was the most popular IM (Instant Messenger) service back then. The world suddenly seemed so small. Communication became easier and that was when chats became a part of our life. During the same time Hotmail and Google also had their IM Services and I thought this was here to stay as it brought people closer. To be able to connect, communicate and see each other was at a click of button. It was like a dream come true.

However I was wrong. Like there are two sides to every coin, there was something which I had not thought of. Although with the evolution in technology, the physical distance seemed to reduce, the emotional distance increased. We suddenly did not want to be seen online for everybody and then there were options to stay offline for some. People started to avoid chatting giving all sorts of vague excuses like being busy or whatever. The heartfelt handwritten letters which were replaced with emails suddenly seemed to shorten and would be replied to the point, in brief. Birthday cards carefully chosen with meaningful tests were replaced with cold ‘Happy Birthday’ wishes on chat. Although the smilies on the chat were introduced to express the emotion felt at that time by a person, sadly they started replacing words. Verbal communication had reduced. 

Chats which used to go on for hours had suddenly come to an end. The conversations started becoming cold and now there are no meaningful conversations as one does not even know what to say to the other person. Communication has been replaced with forwarded messeages which are not even read. Wonder why this has happened. Have we lost the essence of communication? Although we have Video calls just a click away, many are seen to avoid video calls. The warmth in the relationship has suddenly gone cold. Although technology has brought the world closer, it has also provided us with a loophole to escape. To escape from each other thereby building a wall between two people.

A few days ago as I was going through my treasure chest of memories, I came across letters and cards sent by family and friends. The warmth in those letters took be down memory lane when things were so different. There was communication. There were words and we used to cherish them. Now it hurts to see how communication has lost its flavour. There is no exchange of meaningful conversations. Wonder what has changed? Why couldn’t we put technology to better use and improve our relationships rather than taking people for granted. I miss those hand written letters and cards. I miss my  Bicycle messenger.  

महेश कोठारे - एक धडाकेबाज व्यक्तिमत्व !

            

“महेश कोठारे ! नाम तो सूना ही होगा !!!” हे नाव केवळ महाराष्ट्रापुरते परिचित नाही तर देशभर प्रसिद्ध आहे. अतिशय अभिमानाची गोष्ट आहे की एक परभी नाव इतके प्रसिद्ध आणि लोकप्रिय झाले. त्यांचे असंख्य चाहते जगभर पसरले आहेत आणि त्यांच्या इतक्या वर्षाच्या  कामगिरीबद्दल त्यांना सन्मानितही केले गेले आहे. ह्या सगळ्या बातम्या आपल्यापर्यंत पोहोचल्या आहेत कारण महेश कोठारे यांच्या असंख्य मुलाखती झाल्या आहेत आणि तशीच त्यांच्याबद्दल सर्व माहिती इंटरनेट वर उपलब्ध आहे.

आपल्या पाठारे प्रभू ज्ञातीतपण घरोघरी महेश कोठारे बद्दलची माहिती आहे, मग ती व्यावसायिक पातळीवर असो कींव्हा खाजगी. कुणाचा भाऊ तर कुणाचा मित्र, कुणाचा भाचा तर कुणाचा पुतण्या, कुणाचा मामा तर कुणाचा काका. त्यामुळे मी असे वेगळे काय सांगणार? तुम्हा सर्वाना सगळं माहीत असूनसुद्धा मी महेश कोठारे बद्दल असे वेगळे काय लिहिणार असे तुम्हाला वाटणे स्वाभाविक आहे.

महेश कोठारे पुनः एकदा चर्चेत आहेत कारण ‘द ब्लॅक लेडी’ पुनः एकदा त्यांच्याकडे आली आहे आणि त्यांना ह्या पुरस्काराने सन्मानित केले गेले आहे. १९८६ मध्ये महेश कोठारे यांना २ Filmfare चे अवार्ड्स मिळाले होते त्यांच्या ‘धूमधडाका’ चित्रपटासाठी, ‘सर्वोत्कृष्ट दिग्दर्शक’ आणि ‘सर्वोत्कृष्ट चित्रपट’ आणि आता २०२१ मध्ये त्यांना सन्मानित केले आहे फॉर ‘Excellence in Cinema’.

‘बाल कलाकार’ म्हणून १९६४ मध्ये ‘छोटा जवान’ ह्या चित्रपटासाठी त्यांना ‘विशेष पारितोषिक’ दिले गेले होते. त्यांनी जेवढे चित्रपट बाल कलाकार म्हणून केले ते सर्वच सुपर हिट ठरले. त्या नंतर ‘प्रीत तुझी माझी’ मधून अवघ्या विसाव्या वर्षात प्रथम नायकाच्या भूमिकेत ते दिसून आले. शिक्षण आणि वकिलीचा व्यवसाय सांभाळून त्यांनी नायक म्हणून बरेच चित्रपट केले आणि त्या दरम्यान एका चित्रपटात त्यांनी खलनायकाची भूमीका देखील साकारली आणि त्या भूमिकेला  देखील त्यांनी अगदी योग्य न्याय दिला.

एक बाल कलाकार ते नायक, खलनायक अश्या भूमिका सकारल्यावर त्यांनी झेप घेतली ‘धूम धडका’ ह्या चित्रपटाची निर्मिती आणि दिग्दर्शन करून आणि त्यांतून सुरुवात झाली एका प्रगल्भ निर्माते आणि दिग्दर्शकाच्या भूमिकेची. धूम धडाका पासून त्यांनी मराठी चित्रपटांचा ट्रेंड बदलून टाकला आणि मराठी तरुण पिढीला चित्रपटगृहात यायला आकर्षित केले. महेश कोठारे यांचा ‘formula’ सुपर हिट ठरला आणि त्यापुढे त्यांनी असे बरेच विनोदी चित्रपट निर्मित आणि दिग्दर्शित केले जे भरगोज यायशस्वी ठरले.

आपण जेव्हा महेश कोठारे यांच्या चित्रपटांकडे पाहतो तेव्हा एक गोष्ट प्रकर्षाने लक्षात येते आणि ती म्हणजे महेश कोठारे नी मराठी सिनेसृष्टिला प्रत्येक वेळेस काहीतरी नवीन देण्याचा प्रयत्न केला आहे आणि त्यांचा तो प्रयत्न यशस्वी ठरला आहे. त्यांनी मराठी सिनेमा ला बऱ्याच नव्या गोष्टी दिल्या आहेत. त्यांचा ‘धडाकेबाज’ चित्रपट मराठी सिने सृष्टिचा पहिला ‘Cinemascope’ चित्रपट आहे. ह्याच चित्रपटात त्यांनी ‘special effects’ चा देखील यशस्वीरित्या प्रयोग केला.  

त्या नंतर ही त्यांनी प्रत्येक चित्रपटात काहीतरी नावीन्य आणण्याचा प्रयत्न केला आहे आणि देवाच्या कृपेने तो प्रयत्न यशस्वी ठरला आहे. तसेच ‘चिमणी पाखरे’ ह्या त्यांच्या सिनेमात त्यांनी प्रथमच मराठी सिनेमात ‘Dolby sound’ आणला. त्यांच्या ‘पछाडलेला’ चित्रपटात महेश कोठारे यांनी प्रथमच ‘Computer generated effects’ आणले तर ‘झपाटलेला -२’ मध्ये त्यांनी 3D तंत्रज्ञानाचा उपयोग केला आणि मराठी सिनेमा ला तीचा पहिला मराठी 3D चित्रपट दिला. त्यांचे हे सगळेच प्रयोग यायशस्वी ठरलेले आहेत. केवळ सिनेसृष्टि न्हवे तर छोट्या परड्यावरच्या त्यांच्या सर्वच मालिका यशास्वी ठरल्या आहेत.   

महेश कोठारे यांचे मराठी सिनेसृष्टीतले योगदान आणि विक्रम इतिहासात जमा झाले आहेत जेणेकरून आपल्यालाच नाही पण आपल्या पुढच्या पीढीला देखील एका पाठारे प्रभूचे मराठी सिनेसृष्टीतले योगदान पाहून अभिमान वाटेल. ह्या योगदानामुळे त्यांना हे बहुमूल्य पारितोषिक फॉर ‘‘Excellence in Cinema’ बहाल करणे स्वाभाविकच आहे आणि त्यासाठी मलाच नाही तर आपल्या संपूर्ण ज्ञाती ला त्यांचा अभिमान असायला पाहिजे.

ही झाली ह्या वर्षाची ताजी बातमी जी मी एक सह संपादिकेच्या भूमिकेतून साकार केली परंतु काही गोष्टी आहेत ज्या मी एक पत्रकार म्हणून न्हवे तर महेश कोठारेंची ‘फॅन’ म्हणून निभावू शकेन असे मला वाटते कारण एका कलाकाराला योग्य मान आणि प्रेम केवळ त्याचा चाहता म्हणजेच त्याचा ‘फॅन’ देऊ शकतो. आम्ही एकाच ‘तळपदे’ कुटुंबाचा भाग असल्यामुळे अर्थातच आमच्या घरी महेश मामा बद्दल चर्चा व्हायच्या आणि लहानपणापासूनच मी ‘आपल्या’ सुपरस्टारची ‘फॅन’ झाले.

शाळेत असतानाच मला कळले की महेश कोठारे हे नाव किती प्रसिद्ध आहे. तेव्हा धूमधडका चर्चेत होता आणि त्या वेळेस मराठी चित्रपट जरी असला तरी माझ्या अमराठी मैत्रिणींनी धूम धडाका पाहिलेला आणि महेश कोठारे हे नाव माझ्या मैत्रिणीं मध्ये सुद्धा परिचित होते आणि त्यांचे सर्वच चित्रपट लोकं आवडीने पहायला जायचे ह्याच मला लहानपणापासूनच अभिमान होता. मी आजपर्यंत केवळ तीन ‘फॅन मेल’ पाठवले आहेत आणि माझे पहिले ‘फॅनमेल’ माझ्या वयाच्या 12व्या वर्षी मी महेश मामाला पाठवलेले त्यांची ‘Khaitan’ Fan म्हणून.    

माझ्या मैत्रिणींचा महेश कोठारे बद्दलचा आदर पाहून मला एक गोष्ट लक्षात आली की, जितका संमान परकी माणसं देतात तितकी आपली माणसं देत नाहीत. कारण एखादी व्यक्ति यशस्वी व्हायला लागली की त्या व्यक्तिबद्दल प्रशंसा सोडा, निंदा जास्त ऐकण्यात येतात आणि आश्चर्य म्हणजे मराठी माणसंच मराठी माणसांची निंदा कारायला पुढे असतात.

“निंदकाचे घर असावे शेजारी”, असे म्हणतात खरे परंतु कायम जेव्हा केवळ निंदाच करतात तेव्हा लक्षात येतं की लोकांना केवळ टीका करता येते. प्रशंसा करायला मोठे मन लागते जी फारच दुर्लभ गोष्ट आहे. कधीतरी शंका येते की हा दोष केवळ आपल्या मराठी माणसातच आहे की काय. कवी चंद्रशेखर गोखले यांनी कीती योग्य म्हटलंय, “चढाओढ या शब्दाचा अर्थ आपण कीती उलट लावतो, कोणी वर चढताना दिसला, कि लग्गेच खाली ओढायला धावतो.” 

मला अजूनही कळत नाही की, ‘आपलं’ समजून कोणी का साथ देत नाही? टीका करणाऱ्यांनी एवढा तरी विचार करावा की आपण तेवढे तरी करू शकतो का जे त्या व्यक्तीने केले आहे? एक ‘फॅन’ म्हणून मला ह्या गोष्टींचा प्रचंड राग येतोच परंतु जास्त राग ह्या गोष्टीचा येतो की ‘आपल्या’ माणसांबद्दल कोणी टीका का करावी? प्रोत्साहनाची पहिली थाप जेव्हा आपल्या माणसांकढून येते तेव्हा स्वतःवरचा विश्वास अजूनही भक्कम होतो. एखादी व्यक्ति त्याचा बळावर पुढे येते, प्रचंड परिश्रम घेऊन बरेच पडाव पार करून आपले नाव कामावते परंतु त्या परिश्रमाला नजरेआड करून लोकांना केवळ टीका करण्यात स्वारस्य असते ही फाराच लज्जास्पद गोष्ट आहे.  

महेश कोठारे यांची हल्लीच झालेली एक मुलाखत मी ‘यू ट्यूब’ वर पाहिली आणि ती पाहून त्यांच्याविषयी अभिमान द्विगुणित झाला. मी महेश कोठारे यांना एका वेगळ्या दृष्टीने पाहिले. एक अतिशाय ‘Down to Earth’ व्यक्तिमत्व समोर आले जे मला खरोखर अपेक्षित नव्हते.  आपली ‘Success story’ सगळेच सांगतात परंतु आपले अपयश ‘social media’ वर जाहीर स्वीकारणे फार कमी. आपल्यातही काही दुर्बलता आहे हे मान्य करणारे महेश कोठारे दिसले परंतु आपल्या सामर्थ्याला जोपासून पुढे जाऊन सर्व अडथळ्यांवर मात करून जिंकणारे महेश कोठारेही दिसले आणि त्याचक्षणी ते, ‘धडाकेबाज’ ठरले. ह्या माणसांत मी साहस पाहिला, जगाशी भिडण्याची ताकद पाहिली आणि जी गोष्ट मला सर्वात आकर्षित करते, ती म्हणजे त्यांचा ‘प्रामाणिकपणा’ दिसला. एका ‘pheonix’ पक्षासारखी त्यांची भरारी पाहिली. ज्या साहसाने त्यांनी सर्व अडथळ्यांना पार केले आणि आज हा मुक्काम गाठला, त्या बद्दल अभिमान वाटला.

महेश कोठारे यांनी मराठी सिनेसृष्टिला जे योगदान दिले आहे ते अमूल्य आहेच आणि जो पर्यंत मराठी सिनेसृष्टि आहे तो पर्यंत तरी त्यांचे नाव अमर आहे. महेश कोठारे आम्हाला तुमचा प्रचंड अभिमान आहे. तुमचे मनापासून अभिनंदन. तुम्हाला तुमच्या पुढ्या वाटचालीसाठी खूप खूप शुभेच्छा आणि तुमच्या ‘Fans’ ची संख्या वाढत जावो हीच सद्दीछा. परंतु तुमचा ‘Khaitan Fan’ कायम एकच हां ... “संजना उर्फ मिनोती कोठारे!!! नाम तो सुना होगा???”  

 

The biggest gamble of life!

It is indeed a special occassion to be celebrating the entry into adulthood. Not only for the birthday girl/boy but also the parents. Well, now that they are adults... 'young adults', they are free to take their own major decisions of life. Now they are legally old enough to walk their path alone.

A deep surge of emotions encompasses me as I reminisce the days when my babies were little. All the memories, right from the time I got to know I was pregnant till date... everything comes before me just like a flashback. Ofcourse Deepak and me simply love reminiscing old memories and we have done that a thousand times. But this is special. Now that our children are both majors, I am experiencing a hell lot of emotions... a feeling of happiness, anxiety, thrill, excitement and many many more.

Seems like just yesterday that my second little bundle of joy was born. Nostalgia which keeps hitting me often, hit once again as I was going through all the memories captured in the form of photos and videos. Both the kids rolled their eyes as a teary eyed me exclaimed at every photo and video with an "Awww ... You were such a cutie!" I'm sure all the mother's out there do the same and I'm no exception.

The future of our babies is a concern which a parent always carries for their lifetime. Although some might say, I'm not worried, its their future and I am confident they will take the right decision, deep down we do care and are secretly concerned about their decisions. Be it in their career or their personal lives.

Seeing the clichéd 'Happily ever after' scenario all around, it does bring a lot of apprehension in me. Gone are the days when we would learn to love the partners chosen by our parents and live our entire life happily with them. Commitment, adjustments and sacrifices used to be purely out of love and no ulterior motive. The essence of marriage has lost its flavour. Now its only selfish gains, power, manipulation that has taken over in a marriage which is quite alarming. How do we know if our child has chosen the 'right' life partner.

Although I might find its pretty early to think about marriage, the thought does bother me as the wrong life partner is capable of making one's life miserable forever. Not only the partner's life but the entire family is destroyed . The scar of a bad marriage is difficult to heal. Trust is broken and once broken, it can never be mended.

My family including my children have seen people fake their behaviour and manipulate to stay in the marriage for years but as they say, truth always wins. The real face behind the mask is revealed. God makes it a point to reveal the real identity of the person and the fake image is shattered.

But sadly my children had to witness the ugly side to marriage at an impressionable age. After seeing such people in life up close and personal, even the children know and realize that they would never want to have such a life partner. But then its scary as their trust and faith in marriage is shaken. They have realized that there is an ugly side to marriage as well. Everything is not pleasant as it looks. There is also the flip side to it and the 'right' decision in choosing their life partner is nothing but a gamble. In this world of hypocrisy, it surely is a tough job finding a genuine life partner.

Although one might say marriage is not everything, for me it is definitely a concern as there is an increase in the number of children coming from broken families. These children are raised in a unhealthy family life surrounded by ill feelings, fights, arguments, hypocrite behavior, treachery, selfishness... name it and they are engulfed in all these negative emotions. This was not the case earlier but now one of the major criteria while choosing a 'life partner' is to check whether they come from a 'complete' family. The relationship between the parents needs to be evaluated as the values imbibed in the child majorly depends on the healthy family atmosphere in the house. Love, compassion, understanding, sacrificing, adjusting with each other becomes the natural nature of a child raised in a happy family where the concept of living together is the most normal thing to do.

As I am engulfed with these thoughts and concern about the future of my children, I also know that everything is destined. Whatever has to happen will happen. It is the fear of the unknown that bothers me.

To be very honest, seeing the failed marriages around me does scare me. But then I remind myself about the Law of the Universe. It is to attract the positivity from the Universe and believe that everything is beautiful and happening the way I want. That makes me get away from the bitter reality of life and try to get positive vibes from this beautiful all giving Universe.

So as my little girl crosses her first landmark birthday, I bestow upon my children the positivity of life which is full of love and compassion. The understanding and sensibility not to believe in everything that comes before them. The realization that there are demons wearing the garb of angels and trying to intice them. To be amongst empathetic, generous, gentle, loving, kind hearted people. The strength to overcome all hurdles coming up their path be it in their career or personal life. The ability to unmask the fake people out there and be able to see the real person beneath before they cause harm. The will power to stand for what they believe in and live a truthful life devoid of all the negativities and unplesantries around. That's the positivity that keeps me going as I see this beautiful world of 'real' beautiful people and so I pass the mantle of positive thinking to my children as well and wish them a blessed life ahead.