This one bothered me big time considering both were as old as my son. The couple had met in college, 'fell in love' or so they liked to believe. Upon evaluating the relationships that I've seen up close and personal, I have my doubts if people know what it means to 'love' someone. Although this has nothing to do with age. I know several men and women married for decades 'claiming' to be in love with their spouse but let's not digress from the subject here.
All of 23 at present, she had come to get her marriage dissolved mutually with her husband of the same age after being married for a year. Why did they have to marry at such a young age I wondered. My most obvious doubt was put to rest when I found that it was nothing to do with pregnancy.
However, I just could not imagine them getting married at 22 when my kids are still studying. What about financial security, emotional maturity I wondered. Since the marriage was to be dissolved mutually, the only intimate details shared were that he would abuse her physically. The abuse went to the extent that she had to be admitted in the hospital. It was then that her family found out about the abuse and decided to call it off. She had no qualms about ending the marriage after having suffered emotionally and physically at the hands of the man she claimed to have been in love a year ago.
I have witnessed several cases where the claims made by college goers about falling in love is nothing but plain attraction towards the opposite sex only to be regretted later. 'Puppy Love' is what it is. Although the ones still married might disagree to this but that would possibly be their adjustment, commitment or plain tolerance.
How I wish kids realize the difference between attraction and love before even thinking of getting married. Go around.. understand each other (however I'm not promoting Live-ins here) and only if you are willing to stand reach others erratic behaviour and tantrums for a life time... get married.
After falling prey to the physical appearance, one needs to evaluate if they are willing to accept the partner with all the flaws and live with those flaws happily throughout their life.
Live-ins have become the most convenient arrangement. No commitments required. An easy way out after having consumed each other physically if not mentally. This is all that's left in relationships these days. Now a days more than emotional compatibility, couples prefer checking their physical compatibilty which has led to the decline of successful marriages.
All said and done, there is most definitely a decline in the duration of successful marriages. The number of break ups ... multiple partners... trials conducted with the concept of live-ins has deteriorated the piousness of the institution called 'marriage'. Hope better sense prevails upon this generation.
All of 23 at present, she had come to get her marriage dissolved mutually with her husband of the same age after being married for a year. Why did they have to marry at such a young age I wondered. My most obvious doubt was put to rest when I found that it was nothing to do with pregnancy.
However, I just could not imagine them getting married at 22 when my kids are still studying. What about financial security, emotional maturity I wondered. Since the marriage was to be dissolved mutually, the only intimate details shared were that he would abuse her physically. The abuse went to the extent that she had to be admitted in the hospital. It was then that her family found out about the abuse and decided to call it off. She had no qualms about ending the marriage after having suffered emotionally and physically at the hands of the man she claimed to have been in love a year ago.
I have witnessed several cases where the claims made by college goers about falling in love is nothing but plain attraction towards the opposite sex only to be regretted later. 'Puppy Love' is what it is. Although the ones still married might disagree to this but that would possibly be their adjustment, commitment or plain tolerance.
How I wish kids realize the difference between attraction and love before even thinking of getting married. Go around.. understand each other (however I'm not promoting Live-ins here) and only if you are willing to stand reach others erratic behaviour and tantrums for a life time... get married.
Well, the time span to really get to know each other does differ from case to case. It takes years to know someone however it also depends on the kind of situations and circumstances you have faced together, after exposing your 'true' self to your partner and after being exposed, if you are willing to accept each other the way you are... forever. That matters.
After falling prey to the physical appearance, one needs to evaluate if they are willing to accept the partner with all the flaws and live with those flaws happily throughout their life.
Live-ins have become the most convenient arrangement. No commitments required. An easy way out after having consumed each other physically if not mentally. This is all that's left in relationships these days. Now a days more than emotional compatibility, couples prefer checking their physical compatibilty which has led to the decline of successful marriages.
All said and done, there is most definitely a decline in the duration of successful marriages. The number of break ups ... multiple partners... trials conducted with the concept of live-ins has deteriorated the piousness of the institution called 'marriage'. Hope better sense prevails upon this generation.
Before proclaiming "I'm in love" they need to ask themselves...
"Is this love?"
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