Flashback... Circa 2014, he had approached us for Divorce by mutual consent. Since it was a mutual agreement, the ugly intricacies were not discussed and we came straight to the point. While gathering information on his matter, I was alarmed to note that she had not cohabited with him for more than 15 days. It was a lovey dovey marriage as they had married especially on 14th February 2014, Valentine's Day! What an Irony!!!
She had returned to her parental home in less than 15 days in February 2014. Although I was curious to know what had transpired in that brief period, the Lawyer in me warned me not to get too personal and the reason for the breakup was not discussed. The Petition was filed after the completion of one year of marriage and the divorce was granted in 2015.
Circa 2019... He returned !!! He had remarried sometime in 2015 which was immediately after his 1st divorce. This time it was a contested matter. The marriage was an arranged marriage which had barely lasted for 4 years. Both were well-educated however they both had a lot of dirty linen to wash. Allegations were flung at each other as both had something nasty to say about each other and both were not willing to compromise or adjust. They had declared that they were just not meant to be together and neither were they interested in reconciliation. After a brief trial the matter was converted and following a few exchanges the matter was mutually dissolved sometime in 2021.
2024 ... He was back. It had been 3 years since his 2nd Divorce and he was back with a 3rd failed marriage. I am curious to know what brings him back to us for the 3rd time in a span of 10 years. Was he the problem in their relationship? Was there something wrong in/with him or was he just plain unlucky ? I am merely contemplating but I couldn't resist thinking of the possibilities.
What surprised me was, after having failed twice in a marriage he was still raring to go and was once again willing to approach the Court for reliefs. Was he just too optimistic as he was not reluctant to engage in a similar situation. Even the current wife took me by surprise wondering if she even did a background check before getting married to 2 times Divorcee.
I have known couples celebrating 50 years of marriage however that was the generation my parents belonged to. What has changed? Is it the trust factor or the love and respect towards each other or the level of understanding, compromise and adjustment which is glaringly on the decline. Is this the end of the Institution of marriage?
Wonder what criteria are seen by couples of this generation before entering matrimony. Be it a love marriage or an arranged one... what is it that takes for a marriage to work for this generation? It is seriously a matter of concern.
The future generation is unsure, unaware and incapable of handling the financial responsibility, emotional support required, home management besides social responsibilities that are involved post marriage. Neither are they emotionally capable of handling sensitive issues. The honeymoon period 24x7 chats drastically reduce to no communication which translates to misunderstandings.
Looking at the current scenario if this is the situation we are in, then it would not be wrong to say that this generation is not ready for marriage and they will NEVER be ready with a rigid mindset.
They need to be flexible and prepared for the commitments and adjustments involved and evaluate their feelings. It is necessary for them to accept the fact that it is not love or respect that is driving them to consider marriage with their counterpart. They need to understand what is love in the first place.
I personally feel that they either need to go for pre-marital counselling or do not get married till they are ready, for they will not only destroy the life of the other person but also their respective families.
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